unhuman Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 (edited) Ok folks... I think you guys should all be naturals at this one... Try not to read the code... 1 CALL CLEAR::CALL SCREEN(15)::FOR I=1 TO 10::CALL COLOR(I,2,1)::NEXT I 2 PRINT "Toilet Adventure"::PRINT::PRINT "By: unHUman"::PRINT::PRINT("Copyright 2010")::PRINT::PRINT 3 FOR I=1 TO 5::READ R,PR(R),DESC$(R),N(R),S(R),E(R),W(R)::NEXT I 20 DATA 1,0,"I am in a room. To the north I see a door. There are passage ways to the east, west, and south.",5,4,2,3 30 DATA 2,0,"I am in a room. I see an exit to the west.",0,0,0,1 40 DATA 3,0,"I am in a room. I see an exit to the east.",0,0,1,0 50 DATA 4,0,"I am in a room. I see an exit to the north.",1,0,0,0 60 DATA 5,0,"I see a toilet. In this room, I see a window and a sink. There is an exit to the south.",0,1,0,0 200 ROOM=1 :: TURNS = 0 :: DO=0 :: PD = 0 :: SD = 0::OT = 0 :: WO =0 210 PRINT::PRINT DESC$(ROOM) 220 IF PD=1 AND ROOM <> 5 THEN PRINT "A security guard saw my junk. He shot me. I am dead."::END 221 MSG$=""::IF TURNS=7 THEN MSG$="Oh my god!" ELSE IF TURNS=11 THEN MSG$="SERIOUSLY!!!!" 222 IF TURNS=15 THEN MSG$="I'm going to explode!" ELSE IF TURNS=18 THEN MSG$="I'm leaking..." 223 IF MSG{:content:}lt;>"" THEN PRINT::PRINT "** " & MSG$ :: PRINT ELSE IF TURNS=20 THEN 7000 224 INPUT "? ": C$ :: PRINT 225 TURNS = TURNS + 1 230 IF C$ = "LOOK" THEN GOTO 210 231 IF C$ = "TAKE SHIT" OR C$ = "SHIT" OR C$ = "TAKE DUMP" THEN 5000 232 NEXTROOM=-1 233 IF C{:content:}lt;>"DROP PANTS" AND C{:content:}lt;>"DROP DRAWERS" AND C{:content:}lt;>"DOWN PANTS" THEN 240 235 IF SD=0 THEN PD=1::PRINT "My pants are now at my ankles."::GOTO 220 236 PRINT "I can't drop my pants while sitting. Pretty hard to do."::GOTO 220 240 IF C$ = "E" OR C$ = "EAST" OR C$ = "GO EAST" THEN NEXTROOM=E(ROOM) 250 IF C$ = "W" OR C$ = "WEST" OR C$ = "GO WEST" THEN NEXTROOM=W(ROOM) 260 IF C$ = "N" OR C$ = "NORTH" OR C$ = "GO NORTH" THEN NEXTROOM=N(ROOM) 270 IF C$ = "S" OR C$ = "SOUTH" OR C$ = "GO SOUTH" THEN NEXTROOM=S(ROOM) 280 IF NEXTROOM = 0 THEN PRINT "I can't go that way."::GOTO 220 285 IF NEXTROOM = 5 AND DO=0 THEN PRINT "I can't go that way."::GOTO 220 290 IF NEXTROOM > 0 THEN ROOM = NEXTROOM ::GOTO 210 300 IF C{:content:}lt;>"OPEN DOOR" THEN 304 301 IF ROOM=5 AND SD=1 THEN PRINT "I can't open the door while sitting."::GOTO 220 302 IF ROOM=1 OR ROOM=5 THEN DO=1::PRINT "I opened the door."::GOTO 220 303 PRINT "I don't see a door. Pretty hard to do that under the circumstances."::GOTO 220 304 IF C{:content:}lt;>"CLOSE DOOR" THEN 315 305 IF ROOM=5 AND SD=1 AND PD=0 THEN PRINT "I can't reach from here. I scream for help and a real cutie comes and closes the door." 306 IF ROOM=5 AND SD=1 AND PD=0 THEN 220 307 IF ROOM=5 AND SD=1 THEN PRINT "I can't reach from here. I scream for help and a real cutie comes in and serves me a blumpkin." 308 IF ROOM=5 AND SD=1 THEN PRINT "She closes the door on her way out."::D0=0::GOTO 220 309 IF ROOM=1 OR ROOM=5 THEN DO=0::PRINT "I closed the door."::GOTO 220 310 PRINT "I don't see a door. Pretty hard to close one."::GOTO 220 315 IF C{:content:}lt;>"OPEN TOILET" AND C{:content:}lt;>"LIFT LID" AND C{:content:}lt;>"OPEN LID" THEN 320 316 IF ROOM=5 AND SD=1 THEN PRINT "I can't lift what I'm sitting on."::GOTO 220 317 IF ROOM=5 THEN OT=1::PRINT "I lifted the toilet lid."::GOTO 220 318 PRINT "I don't see a toilet. Man, I really gotta go!"::GOTO 220 320 IF C{:content:}lt;>"CLOSE TOILET" AND C{:content:}lt;>"DROP LID" AND C{:content:}lt;>"CLOSE LID" THEN 330 321 IF ROOM=5 AND SD=1 THEN PRINT "I can't close the toilet while I'm sitting on it."::GOTO 220 322 IF ROOM=5 THEN OT=0::PRINT "I closed the toilet lid."::GOTO 220 323 PRINT "Pretty hard to do that from here."::GOTO 220 330 IF C$ <> "SIT DOWN" AND C$ <> "SIT" THEN 340 331 IF ROOM=5 THEN SD=1::PRINT "I sat down on the toilet. It's kind of warm."::GOTO 220 332 PRINT "I don't see any place to sit."::GOTO 220 340 IF C{:content:}lt;>"STAND UP" AND C{:content:}lt;>"STAND" THEN 350 341 IF SD=1 THEN SD=0::PRINT "Standing."::GOTO 220 342 PRINT "I wasn't sitting, you big dummy."::GOTO 220 350 IF C{:content:}lt;>"OPEN WINDOW" THEN 360 351 IF ROOM=5 AND SD=1 THEN PRINT "I can't reach that from here."::GOTO 220 352 IF ROOM=5 THEN WO=1::PRINT "I opened the window... What a nice breeze. Kinda sets the mood just right."::GOTO 220 353 PRINT "I don't see a window. Man, I really gotta go!"::GOTO 220 360 IF C{:content:}lt;>"CLOSE WINDOW" THEN 370 361 IF ROOM=5 AND SD=1 THEN PRINT "I can't reach that from here."::GOTO 220 362 IF ROOM=5 THEN WO=0::PRINT "I closed the window."::GOTO 220 363 PRINT "There's not a window to close."::GOTO 220 370 REM 1000 PRINT "You are confusing me."::GOTO 221 5000 PRINT::PRINT 5001 IF ROOM = 5 THEN 5020 5010 PRINT "Who taught you to shit? In the middle of a public building? The security guard shot me. What would your mother think?"::END 5020 IF SD=1 THEN 5040 5030 PRINT "I can't shit while standing. And I can't hold it anymore. Pooped in pants and died of shame."::END 5040 IF PD=1 THEN 5060 5050 PRINT "You shit without dropping your drawers? The poo drips down my leg and I slip on the floor and die."::END 5060 IF OT=1 THEN 5080 5070 PRINT "I took a shit w/o opening the lid of the toilet. The poo is smashed between my butt cheeks." 5071 PRINT "It turns to glue and I die of starvation stuck to the bowl. Nobody hears me scream."::END 5080 PRINT "Oh sheer delight... The best poo ever! So much shit, I think I'll never need to shit again." 5090 IF DO=1 THEN PRINT "But... you forgot to close the door. Some kid sees me and tells his Daddy. Daddy kills me."::END 5100 IF WO=0 THEN PRINT "But... there's no air in here and I die of asphyxiation."::END 5200 END 7000 PRINT::PRINT 7010 PRINT "I couldn't hold it any longer. You though exploding was just an expression, but, today that's not the case." 7020 PRINT "I'm now spackled all over the walls of this formerly nice building. That poor guy that's gotta clean me up." Edited November 20, 2010 by unhuman 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InfernalKeith Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Dammit! You beat me to it. I was gonna do a text adventure for the crap game contest. It wasn't toilet-related, though. Maybe I'll still do it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opry99er Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 All you need now is a sh*t SPRITE floating across the screen.... Shame the 9918 doesn't have a nice "brown" color. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cebus Capucinis Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Any chance you will put this on a cartridge so we can DUMP it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unhuman Posted November 20, 2010 Author Share Posted November 20, 2010 Any chance you will put this on a cartridge so we can DUMP it? Best lame joke yet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S1500 Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Is this a spiritual sequel to diarhhea dan? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snume Posted November 20, 2010 Share Posted November 20, 2010 Ha Ha!! Within 2 moves a security guard put a bullet in me. But I had to replace the {:content:}lt; with $<. The code window isn't quite perfect I guess. Good one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger03 Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 what a shitty ending Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger03 Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 this is my version for the vic 20 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+OLD CS1 Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 I literally can't even... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger03 Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 I literally can't even... i know what you mean, forget i posted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unhuman Posted July 10, 2018 Author Share Posted July 10, 2018 Of all my dead threads, this is the one the comes back up! You should port Knife Fight too! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger03 Posted July 10, 2018 Share Posted July 10, 2018 7020 LOL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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