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"The 6 Most Retarded Gaming Consoles Ever Released"


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#1 mbd30 OFFLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 10:22 AM

Or another stupid list for generating heated discussion on internet message boards. This one is several years old. I don't think it was posted here before.

http://www.cracked.c...r-released.html

#2 PsychoKittyNet OFFLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 12:41 PM

I'm trying to figure out why the Channel F is on that list, its like they saw a picture of its controllers and just made up their mind from there.

#3 toptenmaterial ONLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:00 PM

I don't think that any of these belong on the list. Putting the Odyssy on there is just plain silly, because it was totally virgin territory in the early 70s. The Fairchild Channel F gave us modern controllers and rom carts. And anyone who owned a Vextrex in the early 80s will testify that it kicked ass. I have never heard of the Epox machine. The systems on this list were marketing failures, but you live and learn.

#4 HuckleCat OFFLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:08 PM

Aside from them being right about the Nomad eating batteries like a teenager eats Doritos, everything else about it is way off.

It was easily the best handheld system until the GameBoy SP.

#5 mbd30 OFFLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:15 PM

View Posttoptenmaterial, on Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:00 PM, said:

I don't think that any of these belong on the list. Putting the Odyssy on there is just plain silly, because it was totally virgin territory in the early 70s. The Fairchild Channel F gave us modern controllers and rom carts. And anyone who owned a Vextrex in the early 80s will testify that it kicked ass. I have never heard of the Epox machine. The systems on this list were marketing failures, but you live and learn.

Yeah. Someone has to be first, and usually the first of anything is crude compared to what came later. It's like having a "most retarded cars" list and including stuff like the Model T.

#6 theredlineboss OFFLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:49 PM

View Postmbd30, on Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:15 PM, said:


Yeah. Someone has to be first, and usually the first of anything is crude compared to what came later. It's like having a "most retarded cars" list and including stuff like the Model T.

Like this:
http://www.time.com/...1657663,00.html

-Rob

#7 mbd30 OFFLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:51 PM

View Posttheredlineboss, on Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:49 PM, said:

View Postmbd30, on Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:15 PM, said:

Yeah. Someone has to be first, and usually the first of anything is crude compared to what came later. It's like having a "most retarded cars" list and including stuff like the Model T.

Like this:
http://www.time.com/...57663%2C00.html

-Rob

Ha.

#8 desiv OFFLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 3:21 PM

Vectrex on a list of bad anything???? (other than bad timing maybe)

No point reading that story...

desiv

#9 thegoldenband OFFLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 3:31 PM

Yep, it's a dumb list. Vectrex, Sega Nomad, and Channel F have no business being on there. The Channel F choice is actually the stupidest one -- I'd think the Emerson Arcadia 2001 and RCA Studio II are far better candidates, especially the Studio II, a console about which I've never heard anyone say a kind word.

#10 mbd30 OFFLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 3:41 PM

View Postthegoldenband, on Sat Oct 22, 2011 3:31 PM, said:

Yep, it's a dumb list. Vectrex, Sega Nomad, and Channel F have no business being on there. The Channel F choice is actually the stupidest one -- I'd think the Emerson Arcadia 2001 and RCA Studio II are far better candidates, especially the Studio II, a console about which I've never heard anyone say a kind word.

I feel for any kids who were stuck with this as all their friends got Atari's.



#11 toptenmaterial ONLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 7:44 PM

^^^ :D :D :rolling: :thumbsup:

#12 PsychoKittyNet OFFLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 10:21 PM

View Postthegoldenband, on Sat Oct 22, 2011 3:31 PM, said:

Yep, it's a dumb list. Vectrex, Sega Nomad, and Channel F have no business being on there. The Channel F choice is actually the stupidest one -- I'd think the Emerson Arcadia 2001 and RCA Studio II are far better candidates, especially the Studio II, a console about which I've never heard anyone say a kind word.

Its never exploded on me.

#13 HuckleCat OFFLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 10:39 PM

Another thing to consider about this list is that it's by Cracked. These guys get paid to be cynical douchebags. After awhile they really have no choice but to reach for stuff to complain about.

For example, earlier this year they complained about how modern FPS games had you looking down gunsights. It showed several different shooters and made the usual broken record claim that the industry was out of ideas because of how all the games being compared had you looking down sights.

Here it is:

http://www.cracked.c...in-video-games/

The problem with this complaint, and I feel I can speak from experience being a gun owner and all, is that this is how you shoot a frigging gun.

They may as well just bitch about how "the industry" is falling apart because all the guns use bullets, or that the sky is always blue, or that America always starts with the letter A.

It's Cracked. They're the internet blog equivalent to a bitter comic.

#14 Random Terrain OFFLINE  

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Posted Sat Oct 22, 2011 11:07 PM

View PostHuckleCat, on Sat Oct 22, 2011 10:39 PM, said:

The problem with this complaint, and I feel I can speak from experience being a gun owner and all, is that this is how you shoot a frigging gun.
I thought they were bitching because most games these days that are squeezed out of the brain sphincters of game designers have us shooting guns? There was a time when it seemed like every freaking game was a platformer. Now the fad is first-person war games. If somebody makes a hugely popular game where you give hand jobs to dragons, we'll be bombarded with dragon hand job games for the next 10 years or more. But this will probably kill off consoles before that can happen:

#4. The New Model is Infinite Payment

#15 GKC OFFLINE  

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Posted Sun Oct 23, 2011 12:15 AM

No Jaguar? You mean I read a "worst consoles" list and didn't have to read about how it's controller has too many buttons and at the same time not enough buttons? I didn't have to read about it not looking like a 64 bit system or that it looks like a toilet? Im shocked. I've been trained to find the Jag on these types of lists that I'm not sure what to do right now.

#16 Mxyzptlk OFFLINE  

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Posted Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:06 AM

I would like to inject the Gamecube. My personal reason is that it was not supported very well at all. There are some great games, but not nearly enough. It has great controls and great graphics, but shit for games.

#17 SoulBlazer OFFLINE  

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Posted Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:29 AM

To be fair, the Oddessy that is on the list is NOT the original one but the cheaper 'pong only' 100 and 200 systems that came out later. Those DO deserve to be on this list.

Having said that --

The other five, while they have problems, do not deserve to be on the list as 'worst gaming systems'.

I'd gladly nominate the RCA Studio II, the CD-I, the Apple Pippin, the game.com, and the XEGS on that list to take their place.

#18 Jess Ragan OFFLINE  

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Posted Sun Oct 23, 2011 3:53 AM

Or what about the AdventureVision? Hard to find as all hell, and once you do you'll wish you left it where it was. It had just four games, all with the worst flicker in the cosmos and graphics barely more detailed than Entex's standalone handhelds. If they're going to knock a novelty semi-portable console, this should have been the one.

The APF-1000's another good candidate, if that thing even counts as a console. Finally, a video game simulation of Boxing that makes the Intellivision game shine by comparison!

#19 A_Locomotive OFFLINE  

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Posted Sun Oct 23, 2011 4:27 PM

View PostMxyzptlk, on Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:06 AM, said:

I would like to inject the Gamecube. My personal reason is that it was not supported very well at all. There are some great games, but not nearly enough. It has great controls and great graphics, but shit for games.

It may not have had a lot of support but its 1st party games were incredible!

#20 sheath OFFLINE  

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Posted Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:03 PM

I'm going to add this list to my top "special needs websites" list.

#21 opeygon OFFLINE  

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Posted Sun Oct 23, 2011 9:47 PM

I take exception to this list. I think it's complete and utter bullshit. Here's my list...you cracked bastards:

PS3
XBox 360
Ps2
XBox
Sega Dreamcast
3DO

#22 SoulBlazer OFFLINE  

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Posted Mon Oct 24, 2011 8:30 AM

View Postopeygon, on Sun Oct 23, 2011 9:47 PM, said:

I take exception to this list. I think it's complete and utter bullshit. Here's my list...you cracked bastards:

PS3
XBox 360
Ps2
XBox
Sega Dreamcast
3DO

Gee, hate modern systems much? :roll:

#23 Rex Dart OFFLINE  

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Posted Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:49 AM

So, how you guys enjoying your Channel Fs? Playing them often, yes?

#24 Emehr ONLINE  

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Posted Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:29 AM

It's hard for me to feel the nerd rage with a Cracked article, but if I had to take issue with any of the consoles listed it would be Vectrex. How can a console that cool even be considered "retarded"?

View PostRex Dart, on Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:49 AM, said:

So, how you guys enjoying your Channel Fs? Playing them often, yes?
I totally read that with Stewie's voice. And I don't even watch Family Guy.

#25 SoulBlazer OFFLINE  

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Posted Mon Oct 24, 2011 2:20 PM

As bad as the Channel F is, I can nomindate about 8 systems that were worse then it. ;)




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